Yesterday, Mary and I went to the School for the Blind. I cant put into word what this experience did to me. I've never been around a blind person, let alone 200 blind children. The minute we walked through the doors, we were able to go to each classroom and just visit and greet the kids. The first child I encountered was an Albino little boy that was about 6 years old. He actually came to me out of a crowd and immediately grabbed my hand and started feeling my nails, fingers, arm, my bracelet and he didn't miss a line or crease in my hand. As odd as this sounds, it was such a spiritually moving experience and tears just fell from my face. He started smiling the minute he touched my hand and he told me his name while he spoke very broken English and Hindi. I think what upset me so much was just the simple beauty of him trying to figure out who I was. Although he couldn't see, his hands are his eyes. These kids experience things we could never experience because we cant see past a certain point. When you only have your hands, all of your other senses immediately come into play so you are more open to the feelings, the sounds, etc. These kids can read a person and tell if they have a gentle or cold spirit and they sense it immediately. It was just so amazing to see that firsthand and see how they helped each other. Imagine if you couldn't see. Close your eyes and think of what your world would look like. Would it still be colorful, would it be dark, would it be happy? Maybe if we tried to feel a little more, go beyond what the eyes see, we may see the world with a whole new pair of eyes.
Another heart wrenching moment for me this day was when a girl, about 11, grabbed my hand and never let go, the entire day she was glued to my hip. She just took to me and I was so moved by her beauty. She had this smile that I haven't seen in a long time. Just so pure and innocent and so bright. She couldn't speak english so we often had to read each others movements and sounds to understand what each were trying to say. She told the translator to tell me to sing a song...I immediateley got embarassed but I knew that could be something special for her so I just started singing old songs that I remembered from growing up in church. When I started singing the girls and a few of her friends just started crowding around and smiling and clapping. At first, I felt retarded because I get shy when I am put on the spot to sing for anyone but it was so fun and really helped me be able to open up and be silly with all of them. When it was their turn to sing a song, they sang a few Hindi songs and then all of sudden the entire class broke out an old hymn, one I hadn't heard in 10 years and one that my great grandmother always sang to me when I was young. "This is the day, this is the day that the Lord hath made...I will rejoice, I will rejoice and be glad in it..." I just lost it. I think I felt like grandma was with me that exact moment and how everything was circling back around in my life. I feel that a lot of where my soft heart and passion for missions comes from is her. After all, she was the one that started taking me to nursing homes and to visit sick people when I was 2 years old. I think she planted a seed in me, one I never imagined would grow how it has today. She always sang songs to me and that one particular song was a special one. I just couldn't believe out of every song they chose that one. I had such an overwhelming sense of peace come over me that day. I was also reminded of the words of that song and was extremely humbled; how a blind child can still have so much happiness and joy and be under such difficult circumstances. Many of us, including myself, need to rethink what makes us happy and cling to that. It's those simple moments on this trip that i've just cherished more than anything and have been little reminders for me to get back to my roots and have helped me understand why God has placed these certain things in my heart and on my path. It's just crazy how things at one point or another, no matter how old you may be, come around and just click. We all have that point when we finally get it...this was mine.
Later that day, I just grabbed the girls hands and started dancing with them and jumping around and I taught them a few swing dances:) I felt so horrible because I had two girls dancing at once and I had one on each arm as I was dipping them. I brought them back up and slammed their heads into each other! All 3 of us just laughed but I felt so bad! Those poor little girls thought I was going to be able to direct them when they couldn't see and i just slammed their heads together..haha...they laughed so I felt ok to laugh too:)
Overall, this day was very emotional and inspiring all at the same time, much like this entire trip. I know the memories of these kids smiles and joy will be with me forever. I'm so blessed to have been able to give pieces of my joy to them. We depart tonight for our long journey back home, although bittersweet, I have so much to think about and to pray about. Im really trying to listen to God on these next few big decisions I have to make for my future. This has helped me gain so much clarity on a lot of questions, doubts, issues, etc that I've been struggling with and for that I am forever grateful for this opportunity. I am also very excited to be able to share this with so many that I love. I hope it brings them as much joy as it has me this past month. It means so much that you've allowed me to share my experiences and thoughts throughout this trip. Plus, I got some great little treats for everyone! I cant wait to give them to you!!
I love you all so much and I cant wait to get a million hugs!! Pray for our safe travels and we will see you in a few days! (I cant wait to eat pickles!!) haha
