Surviving the humps:)

On days like this, Im reminded of all the wonderful things I do have rather than the things i dont. I realize that everyday is a blessing and I should focus on the positive, rather than the hurt. Anything worth having is a challenge whether it's career, love, or friendships...I realize this everyday. Stay strong and "pull myself up by the bootstraps," good things will happen..thanks mom:)

It's easy to get off track and dwell on the things that are keeping you down, rather than the great things that are happening. Ive been presented with so many great opportunities and have just started my last prerequisite class to take while I wait to get accepted into PA school; however, things have been weighing heavily on my mind and heart lately. I guess when everything in your life is up in the air and unsettled, it's easy to get lost sometimes. When people you love and confide in are miles away, its hard to push through those days sometimes. From love, friends, school, and my future, I know these things will all work out for the best, yet its human to worry and hurt when things are still in remission. Between my accelerated 8 week class, full time work, and preparing for a move to a new state or out of the country, I know these next few months will keep me busy and distracted and will hopefully bring many new things. Ill know about PA school before you know it and then I can start to breathe again! Thanks to my amazing family, friends and God, I have been able to pull through these minor humps, but I know the things I want in life are things worth the struggle and the wait:) I just remind myself to take each day as a new fresh start and to enjoy this beautiful weather, try to breathe and relax; it always works out how it's supposed to. Enjoy this time as it is...it's for something big!

Romans 8:28, James 1:2-4

So excited to see my family the next 2 weekends!! yay!!:) I love all of you more than you know!

Girls Just wanna have fun!

Hello my lovely family! I cant believe spring has sprung! These past few months have been flying by so fast! Just an update on life because I know I cant always keep up with everyone but I have really appreciated all of the sweet and uplifting emails and calls from all my loved ones, it really means more than you will ever know and I cant tell you just how much all of your prayers, support and comments have helped  me. I've definitely been a little impatient with my life lately, but I have been praying for strength and guidance probably more than I ever have before. I know its a very pivotal time in my life and I want to make sure I make the right decisions for myself. God has definitely been separating me from others, i think he still wants me to just be still and listen. I guess sometimes space can be a good thing even though its difficult. Ive been reading more than I think I ever have in my life recently. I guess when I have down time throughout the day and at night it helps me relax and find some peace. I just started reading "The Kite Runner," and I love it! Ive become very fascinated with the middle eastern culture since India and I realized I was very ignorant so Im digging further into the unknown:) Mary and I have become new roomies:) Its a temporary situation until I know the next step in my life as far as school and location goes. Its been a great transition to be a little closer with friends and have some much needed girl time. You forget how truly important is to have great friends that really do care; not just a selfish, superficial friendship. Mary has proven to be one amazing, uplifting and trustworthy friend that I could have ever asked for, especially in these past few months when things have been trying at times and I just needed a good shoulder to cry on and to make me laugh. Oh, and cant forget...to share a jar of pickles with. Ive been surrounding myself with positive strong friends and family that have really kept me grounded and happy. Im seeing the true value in a good relationship, not just the quantity of friends but the quality. I had my first girls night in forever last night with Mary and a few girls from work! We went to a karakoee bar and had a blast! I definitely belted out some tunes! My class starts tomorrow and will end May 13, then hopefully after that, I will now about school and I can start my new beginnings in a new town or a new country possibly:) I should have my interview in Tampa in late April! We will see...something new and wonderful approaches every day and I can thank none other than God. Yes, there are days that i get a little emotional but there's this amazing peace and strength that i've recently discovered on a different level than ive ever experienced before. I think it's al of my families prayers! Even though we are unsure of the unknown, if our heart tells us something, we should listen. Im listening more with my heart lately instead of over thinking too much. I have certain things I want to be committed to or people I want to be able to trust me and ive found that i am the person i was raised to be, all the other obstacles that tripped me along the way have become smaller and smaller and is something i have been able to strongly push through. Theres alot inside I will always have and I look to that for strength. God truly has covered me with love and filled my heart when it was broken. I love you all and Ill see you all at Easter (hopefully)!! I cant wait to squeeze my little Hayden cheeks:))

Another thing, ive gained like 7 pounds!! what is wrong with me?? haha....actually i feel like a big kid now! haha..thanks to all that ice cream and indian carbs:)

ps...Bob has been really sick for going on 10 days now; ever since he returned from Haiti. Ive been making sure he was ok everyday and helping him out since Cman is gone on spring break but I just wanted to tell everyone to keep him in your prayers, it was pretty scary! He's doing alot better now!

my little angel:) sisters day out in dallas!

Mary and I about to strut our karaokee skills

Girls Night Out!

"It helps to remember that hidden within every obstacle is a treasure to behold...your heart is wiser than you know"...still havent let go:)

My love:) Dallas Arboretum

Loo at the Zoo:)

This weekend, my sister and my 9 month old niece, Hayden, came to visit me in Texas:) We went to the Fort Worth Zoo today and I think it was the most fun Ive had in awhile. Hayden kept me laughing every minute with her silly faces and jibber jabber. It was her first time to the zoo and she LOVED all the animals! Her favorite animals were the giraffes and the monkeys. We taught her how to make a monkey sound and when we asked her "how do the gorillas go?" and she pooched her lips out and lowered her eyebrows and said " hoohooho" we about died! haha...she's the absolute cutest little chunky monkey out there. If I have kids one day, I hope they are just like her...too cute! I picked up Christian and brought him too because he is on spring break and he never does anything like this so we thought he's have a great time and he did! He helped alot with Hayden too...it was so sweet.

This is the first time my sister and her husband Justin have been away from each other since they had Hayden so he was pretty sad. I almost threw up at how mushy and lovey they were on the phone today but then I thought about how happy I am for them. My sister truly is the most amazing mom ever. It's so crazy to see how she has evolved into this amazing young woman and incredible mother. I can only hope that one day when I have a family of my own,  I can be half the mother she is and have the type of marriage she has with Justin. They are so cute! Its great to be able to spend time with them because Im farther from my family now, and sometimes i just miss them so much, especially lately since Ive been separated from everyone I love and at times, that has been very hard for me. It can feel quite lonely but its great that I have a lot of positive things going on that keep me busy. Im still waiting to get things settled with PA school and other mission/volunteer opportunities....so much to keep me focused on and keep my mind off things!! There are so many great things to be done and good times to be had:)

Enjoy the pics!! Hayden is a cutie!! Love you all!!

Updates

Im back in the states now and have been for almost a week:( Im glad to be back to see family but to be honest, I am a little restless. I really want to be back in India; however, I felt like I needed to come back to figure out school and see where I was going to get into PA school, as well as tie up some other things at home. Everytime I tell anyone about India, I start to cry. I have just never been moved like this before, even a week after, I still feel everything so strongly. I have a meeting this week about my opportunity in Sierra Leone and another with someone for an opportunity in Afghanistan; however, i feel that the Middle Eastern job is not safe at this point and will probably just keep it on the back burner. When I was about to leave India, I was almost going to extend my stay for longer and then I just fet as if I needed to come back home and sort some things out and I did. Since I got back, I had a call about an interview for the PA school in Tampa at South University! Im excited! it all happened for a reason because if I wouldve stayed longer I would have missed the interview, so as of now until May, I will be staying in TX and finishing up one class I need that starts 3/22 and working as much as possible to save some money. I finally have a car!! yay!! Also, Im living with Mary now, well just being her bedroom roomate:) haha.. Since I only need a place for 3 months, a 3 mo lease is too short to sign so Im staying  with Mary until I know the next steps of where Ill be going as far as school and travels. I love TX but Im very excited at the possibility at a new adventure and a fresh start. Im going through some changes and needless to say, its difficult and at times, a little emotional but Im so very happy and hopeful at what the future will bring. My heart has been pretty heavy lately with everything but I know that things will work out how they are supposed to and I think I have finally found some peace and comfort in knowing that I cant control anything anymore. I just have to live life and take it a day at a time and have faith. I have really understood what it means to be still recently and Im trying to listen more. I have such a strong pull towards a few things in my life and Im waiting to see where the next step leads me. I have a bracelet on my right hand that a loved one gave me and I havent taken it off since then. Everyday I look at it it reminds me that there is good to come and just to be hopeful and have faith of whatever comes in my path. I have really gained alot of strength this past month through my experiences and I think I finally feel like I can accomplish alot of the things I am passionate about. My goal for the next however long is to continue to make things on my "List" disappear and to continue to just work on myself and stay true to my path:)

Sometimes, I wish I was back on the mountain so i could just breathe the fresh air and be surrounded by peace and beauty. I think that was the most at peace I had felt in so long. I have some amazing, unforgettable memories of that trip:)

WE ARE NOT HUMAN BEINGS GOING THROUGH A TEMPORARY SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCE, WE ARE SPIRITUAL BEINGS GOING THROUGH A TEMPORARY HUMAN EXPERIENCE.