The School for the Blind

Yesterday, Mary and I went to the School for the Blind. I cant put into word what this experience did to me. I've never been around a blind person, let alone 200 blind children. The minute we walked through the doors, we were able to go to each classroom and just visit and greet the kids. The first child I encountered was an Albino little boy that was about 6 years old. He actually came to me out of a crowd and immediately grabbed my hand and started feeling my nails, fingers, arm, my bracelet and he didn't miss a line or crease in my hand. As odd as this sounds, it was such a spiritually moving experience and tears just fell from my face. He started smiling the minute he touched my hand and he told me his name while he spoke very broken English and Hindi. I think what upset me so much was just the simple beauty of him trying to figure out who I was. Although he couldn't see, his hands are his eyes. These kids experience things we could never experience because we cant see past a certain point. When you only have your hands, all of your other senses immediately come into play so you are more open to the feelings, the sounds, etc. These kids can read a person and tell if they have a gentle or cold spirit and they sense it immediately. It was just so amazing to see that firsthand and see how they helped each other. Imagine if you couldn't see. Close your eyes and think of what your world would look like. Would it still be colorful, would it be dark, would it be happy? Maybe if we tried to feel a little more, go beyond what the eyes see, we may see the world with a whole new pair of eyes.

Another heart wrenching moment for me this day was when a girl, about 11, grabbed my hand and never let go, the entire day she was glued to my hip. She just took to me and I was so moved by her beauty. She had this smile that I haven't seen in a long time. Just so pure and innocent and so bright. She couldn't speak english so we often had to read each others movements and sounds to understand what each were trying to say. She told the translator to tell me to sing a song...I immediateley got embarassed but I knew that could be something special for her so I just started singing old songs that I remembered from growing up in church. When I started singing the girls and a few of her friends just started crowding around and smiling and clapping. At first, I felt retarded because I get shy when I am put on the spot to sing for anyone but it was so fun and really helped me be able to open up and be silly with all of them. When it was their turn to sing a song, they sang a few Hindi songs and then all of sudden the entire class broke out an old hymn, one I hadn't heard in 10 years and one that my great grandmother always sang to me when I was young. "This is the day, this is the day that the Lord hath made...I will rejoice, I will rejoice and be glad in it..." I just lost it. I think I felt like grandma was with me that exact moment and how everything was circling back around in my life. I feel that a lot of where my soft heart and passion for missions comes from is her. After all, she was the one that started taking me to nursing homes and to visit sick people when I was 2 years old. I think she planted a seed in me, one I never imagined would grow how it has today. She always sang songs to me and that one particular song was a special one. I just couldn't believe out of every song they chose that one. I had such an overwhelming sense of peace come over me that day. I was also reminded of the words of that song and was extremely humbled; how a blind child can still have so much happiness and joy and be under such difficult circumstances. Many of us, including myself, need to rethink what makes us happy and cling to that. It's those simple moments on this trip that i've just cherished more than anything and have been little reminders for me to get back to my roots and have helped me understand why God has placed these certain things in my heart and on my path. It's just crazy how things at one point or another, no matter how old you may be, come around and just click. We all have that point when we finally get it...this was mine.

Later that day, I just grabbed the girls hands and started dancing with them and jumping around and I taught them a few swing dances:) I felt so horrible because I had two girls dancing at once and I had one on each arm as I was dipping them. I brought them back up and slammed their heads into each other! All 3 of us just laughed but I felt so bad! Those poor little girls thought I was going to be able to direct them when they couldn't see and i just slammed their heads together..haha...they laughed so I felt ok to laugh too:)

Overall, this day was very emotional and inspiring all at the same time, much like this entire trip. I know the memories of these kids smiles and joy will be with me forever. I'm so blessed to have been able to give pieces of my joy to them. We depart tonight for our long journey back home, although bittersweet, I have so much to think about and to pray about. Im really trying to listen to God on these next few big decisions I have to make for my future. This has helped me gain so much clarity on a lot of questions, doubts, issues, etc that I've been struggling with and for that I am forever grateful for this opportunity. I am also very excited to be able to share this with so many that I love. I hope it brings them as much joy as it has me this past month. It means so much that you've allowed me to share my experiences and thoughts throughout this trip. Plus, I got some great little treats for everyone! I cant wait to give them to you!!

I love you all so much and I cant wait to get a million hugs!! Pray for our safe travels and we will see you in a few days! (I cant wait to eat pickles!!) haha

Puri adventures, etc....bittersweet

Our 3 week long trip is coming to an end and it is bittersweet:( I am so excited to see my family; however, I am so attached and connected to this place in more ways than one and I am sad to leave. I just feel a tug at my spirit for the work I feel I can help do here. I have so many ideas and inspirations and I def initely plan on coming back. I am praying about March/april to come back for 2 months to mentor the girls in Sarampore at the Hope House and live with them while Jean has to leave for the new Visa regulations here in India. Mary and I have both been so deeply moved in a way I dont think we can explain in a blog or even pictures. We had the best talk today about how this has truly changed us and planted something in us that we have never felt before. I have done several mission trips and travelled internationally in recent years; however, this trip, for some reason has really pushed me over the edge and has opened so many doors. Ive gotten alot of answers here that i'd been searching for for so long. I realiz everyone in this world has something special planted inside, when we cross paths with other people with those similar passions and gifts, the fire spreads and those things grow. For me, this trip has done that. Ive met so many incredible young people and adults alike that have just given me even more confidence to do what I feel Ive always meant to do and I want to stay true to that from now on; to who I truly am, where my heart is and to use the gifts God has given me. Its still difficult to see exactlty where and what I should do with them, but everyday I feel something stronger towards a certain area or mission. Id like to commit to one and make something here my project, to truly make great changes that can positively impact or inspire others. When I return back to the states, I will be given several options all of which I have to think about and pray about. Its actually very overwhelming and all prayers are appreciated:) Theres an amazing organization called "Forgotten Diamonds" in Sierra Leone, Africa for literacy and Aids and Ive been contacted about running their orphanage and literacy program while the founder continues funding and her documentary project back in the states for 2 months. She's an incredible woman who has inspired me to start the beginnings of starting my own organization, which im brainstorming currently:) Ive also been asked to help with a school, refugee camp, and clinic in an area outside Kabul, Afghanistan which for some reason, this area keeps tugging at me as well but with safety as an issue, its something I really want to think about. Uncle Bob has also asked me to return to Haiti with him when I get back and mentioned that "Danita's House" for Orphans could possibly need someone to help in their orphanage as well for long term. The other big opportunities are the ones in India of course, things I have already started to lay a foundation with and things I feel very connected with. Im just waiting on a few things to confirm PA school. I have 2 schools left. South University in Tampa, which starts in Jan 2011 or Nova Southwestern in Jacksonville, FL which starts in June 2010. As you can see, thats a huge gap of time to wait and Im just a little anxious to see which one I get into so I can know which steps to take next. I guess Im getting  a little antsy. I wont know anything until probably april. I know God has a perfect time and reason for things and I need to just relax but I am just so excited about all these possibilities and if you cant tell yet, I have fallen in love with mission/humanitarian work so I like to be involved as much as I can. I know my "home is where the heart is" which is my family and TX has been an incredible opportunity and growing experience for me, but I still havent truly connected anywhere as much as I have when Im out of the country doing what Im blessed to do, so for me to go back is going to be bittersweet for me. I know Mary and I are both very antsy to see and talk with our families; we have so much we want to share. Im so glad Mary and I were able to reconnect through this trip and Im glad she took a chance and decided to go with me:) I dont think it would've been the same without her. Too many laughs, tears, mosquito bites, and silly stories we will never forget:) Its an incredible gift to have friends that truly share your passions and that you can trust and lean on in times as these. I thank God for these friends and my incredibly supportive and encouraging family. I know Ive probably given my parents and grandparents so many strokes just by worrying about all my travels and my safety and I know its hard for them to let me get out there in that big 'ol world and just let go, but they have and thats the best lesson and gift they have ever given me. Im so incredibly inspired right now by so many things and Im refreshed and renewed spiritually and emotionally. I know these next few months are going to be difficult for me for many reasons but I know I have a great support system and Im so grateful for that.

Mary and I will be going to Prem Dan and the Blind School again tomorrow and finishing up our patient stories in our last few days, so we will post more soon. Puri was amazing and was a great place to relax, enjoy each other, be silly, talk about our trip and our future goals, be inspired, eat great food, stick our toes in the sand, see camels, and just be the goofy people we are:) We made some great connections with Phillip's organization and Im currently working on ideas for a huge fundraiser in TX and in my hometown to raise funds for their cause and hopefully be able to come back to help at the Dream Center. I have TONS of pics on Facebook of our Puri trip but i put a few on the blog:)

A Few highlights from Puri:

-Mary got 66 mosquito bites (we counted all of them)
-Mary was taking pics of the beach dogs and one chased her and almost attacked her!!
-I saw a man drop his pants and poop on the beach right in front of me and then kick it into the ocean...ewww
-There were cows EVERYWHERE!! we named all of our neighboorhood cows:)
-A crazy HIndi man came up to us on the beach, threw water on us, and chanted some Hindi prayer...so we probably have some crazy curse on us now..haha....jk...but really, it was wierd
-We watched "what happens in Vegas 4 times" hahaha
-All the kids from the "Dream Center" and AG school/orphanage attacked us and gave us huge bear hugs for hours and we played with them:) such an amazing experience, so sweett
-We saw the Sun Temple in Konark...amazing structure...incredible
-We went to a small village on the beach and Mary and I both spoke to over 100 villagers on a personal devotion and testimony we had in our heart, we were translated into the native language
-In that same village (Chandrabagha), we were invited to eat the village food (huge no no for Americans), we didnt want to offend them, so we obliged...I ate chicken organs...with my hands...ewww
-Mary swallowed a fish bone
-I swallowed an entire chicken lung

-I drank out of a coconut and ate the meat, it was gross
-We saw the cutest, tiniest woman ever...she had the "oompa lompa" shrunken voice and we just wanted to squeeze her
-Our train ride there and back...enough said, that was an experience on its own
-I got yelled at by an Indian woman...in bangali...i have no idea why
-We saw a camel;)...and he didnt spit:)
-Many, Many more fun stories we will tell in person...it was great!!


ps...do you ever notice how Indians bobble their heads when they answer you a yes/no question? its confusing...watch next time you see a true Indian and see if they do it..so wierd

On an overnight train to Puri! This should be interesting..

Our crazy experience on the auto rickshaw:)) hopefully the train wont be as crazy!

Mary and I are starting our 3 day fun adventure to Puri, Orissa tonight. We are about to get on a 9 hour overnight train that will take us to beautiful Puri, a beach town with lots of temples and culture. It should be a fun little getaway for a few days. We are also going to visit a school that has 600 kids, which is part of the CMM ministry. Im not sure if we will have internet or dependable communications so we will post pics and stories when we return back to Calcutta on the 20th:)

Quick story, today we drove about 2 hours outside of Calcutta to a town called Saramapore. There are about 20,000 villagers. It was a nice town and is where Jean will start the "Hope House", which will house about 10 high risk girls. She has also written the curriculum for the "Manimala" school which has about 65 students, both boys and girls and she will help run it with a local doctor and her husband. They also have a large clinic here for the village. I felt very pulled here today and connected with 4 of the girls on a deeper level than anyone else Ive encountered here so far. I could possibly have a great opportunity to live with these girls in the "Hope House" when Jean has to leave for 2 months (because of the new visa regulations in India) We discussed the possibility today and I really feel this may be a great thing for me. I would be able to just mentor the girls, tutor them, help them with their english, as well as help with the village clinics while they are in school. Its something I will pray about but I left today feeling very strong...we will see. I also had a great idea for a business opportunity..ill share later! So much to write but we are about to leave for our train!! love you all and no worries, Mary has a water gun and I have my multi tool that Peter gave me so if anyone messes with us on the train, they are in major trubsss! haha!

Talk soon!!

Mar and Lar's Valentine date:)

Mary's coke bottle glasses were our entertainment for the night! I had a huge headache after putting these guys on! haha

our lovely roses:)

In lieu of Valentine's Day, Moo and I went to celebrate our love for each other at a nice restaurant called "Marco Polo."We ate a greek salad and pasta that tasted amazing, so hopefully we will not reap the wonderful benefits of lettuce in a third world country...oops! We shall see in a few days what our stomaches think about that! Either way, we had a great night and even got little roses...we felt so special!

Love you guys!!

Read this first and then the Valentine's one:)

This was written in the church bulletin today and it spoke to both Mary and I:

You may not know me, but i know everything about you. Psalm 139:1

I know when you sit down and when you rise up .Psalm 139:2

I am familiar with all your ways. Psalm 139:3

I knew you even before you were conceived. Jeremiah 1:4-5

I chose you when I planned creation. Ephesians 1:11-12

You were not a mistake, for all your days are written in my book. Psalm 139: 15-16

I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live. Acts 17:26

You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139:14

I am not distant and angry, but am the complete expression of love. John 4:16

And it is my desire to lavish my love on you. 1 John 3:1

My plan for your future has always been filled with hope. Jeremiah 29:11

I will never stop doing good to you. Jeremiah 32:40

For you are my treasured possession. Exodus 19:5

I am your father, and I love you even as I love my son, Jesus. John 17:23

For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed. John 17:26

He is the exact representation of my being. Hebrew 1:3

He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you. Romans 8:31

And to tell you that I am not counting your sins. 2 Corinthians 5:18-19

Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled. 2 Corinthians 5:18-19

His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you. 1 John 4:10

I gave up everything I loved that i might gain your love. Romans 8:31-32

If you receive the gift of my son, Jesus, you receive me. 1 John 2:23

And nothing will ever separate you form my love again. Romans 8:38-39

Come home and ill throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen. Luke 15:7

I have always been Father, and will always be Father. Ephesians 3:14-15

My question is...Will you be my child? John 1:12-13

I am waiting for you you. Luke 15:11-32

Love,

God

Happy Valentine's Day!! Shout out to my family:)

missing the mountain ;)

Just a reminder of my family love:) Miss you

It doesn't matter if you are single or taken, know that you are loved more than anyone on this Earth could ever love you, and not just on Valentine's Day, but 365 days of the year! God's love really is amazing if you just open your heart to it, I am realizing that more and more everyday. He brings us through the ashes with hope to cling to. Im so grateful for that kind of love.

I was also reminded in church today that God uses IMPERFECT vessels. Everyone of us should be encouraged to go out, not necessarily into missions or ministry but God can call us in any areas whether its business, politics, medicine, teaching, plumbing, abroad, or in our own town. It doesn't matter; everyone has a different call and a different plan. We just have to see that we are good enough to do that for him, it doesn't matter WHAT we have done. Nothing is too big for God. You are never too far gone for Him. I encourage all of you if you feel this way to just sit and talk with him, pray and listen. Open your heart and open your eyes. He didn't create any two people the same so don't ever judge or point fingers at who is doing more for God, or anything at all because you never know what God has planned for that person and that person's timing may not be the same as yours. Above all, just try to walk in the direction your heart is tugging you to go in because from what I have learned in the past few years, is usually God knocking at your door and sometimes its so loud you just cant ignore it anymore. We all struggle with something. For some it may be alcohol, sexuality, cussing, anger, jealousy, etc. My biggest struggle was dishonesty, for some reason I could never get the whole truth out whether it was to keep someone form hurting, make things not seem as bad, or just wanting to stay out of a confrontation. I can say this out loud now without feeling criticized or like a failure because I have finally overcome that issue, for whatever reason it was an issue, but I tell you that just to say that you don't have to hide anymore and even if we continue to mess up, you are still loved beyond any amount imaginable. I hope everyone that reads this is happy, blessed, loved and knows that it is never hopeless, no matter what the circumstance. Bring it to God and you WILL get through anything. Unfortunately, I can bear witness to this more than I can count on my fingers, and toes. I just want to share that with everyone...I really felt God speak that to me today in church. Mary and I both have had some similar experiences and circumstances with our pasts, families, and our hardships and today when we read, "You were not a mistake, for all your days are written in my book..."(Psalm 139:14), we both just looked at eachother and started tearing because we knew, once again, that we do both have some huge calling in our life and we are getting closer to that everyday. We are loved beyond words and its just comforting to be reassured sometimes. We all have those days of confusion when you often wonder what god's purpose for your life is but Mary and I were reminded by a friend that God is not a God of confusion, there's a time and a place and he does have everything planned for each person. We will figure it out eventually. Just have comfort in that.

Things are going great here and we are really getting attached to everything here. We both agree that this is something that we would like to come back to in the future in whatever way that is. We are still moved everyday and we both talked about how we can be good examples within our own families and friends. Anyways, I didnt mean to sound preachy I just am overwhelmed with love today in so many ways. Thanks again for all of your prayers and know that it means more than you can ever know.

To the people I love most:

Mom,

I dont think anyone in this world will ever truly understand what you have been through in your life. You are my strength and I hope you know that. You are an AMAZING mother and have always been. It doesnt matter what you have or havent done in the past, its what you do now. Know all of your babies love you more than you will ever know and more than we probably were able to express at some points...When I get home, lets start making new memories! I pray for you and dad everyday to know that you are great parents and eventhough we've had our struggles, we always get through it. Stay strong and please dont ever give up. I love you mom!! You are the silliest mom in the world!:)

Dad,

Where do I even begin. You are an incredible man, simple as that. You truly showed me the love of a father and you have stood by mom through so many things. You are strong and you dont even see it sometimes. Dont ever get discouraged through our hardships because you are our rock and we only have one family and we all love you so much. I hope that you and mom see all the greta things you have done in our lives an dsee that maybe this day is dont, but tomorrow the sun will rise...its always a chance to make things better. I love you so much dad!

Sister,

Little, cute, stubborn, sassy sister of mine...I love you so incredibly much, it really does hurt me sometimes. You are the most resillient young woman I think I have ever met. You are grace under fire and a stone wall when you needed to be. Without you even knowing, you've been a huge inspiration to me. You are an incredible mother and one I will strive to be when hopefully I have kids of my own someday. I know we've had our battles, but I never truly saw the love and friendship of a sister until we grew out of that. I realize when I asked for a sister when I was younger, it wasnt just to play with or make do things for me, it was to lift me up and lean on when times were tough. You have been the silent one for so long and I hope you know you can always come to me for anything. I love you with all my heart sissy!

Deej,

Baby brother, Im already crying at this point as Im typing this. haha. You have always been the baby, always getting away with everything and using those beautiful big eyes to get out of anything! These past few years, I have see you grow into the most strong, wonderful young man and make decisions that I never had the courage to make. You stand up for what you really believe in and thats a trait most can never obtain. You are silly, goofy, and you always make me smile. Serious as you may try to be, a crack of that smile and you truly do touch so many. You have always been the most loving to everyone and also one who stood in the back for along time, but so brave. I am so proud of you and the man you are becoming. I hope you know you can do anything in this world. You are definitely smarter than me, i just studied way too much. haha. I cant wait to make more sibling memories with you throughout the next years and Im sorry I have missed out on so much! I turned around and saw my baby brother become my big brother; thank you for watching out for me, telling me things no one else ever would to my face, and for being a little turd because without you knowing, you have changed my life. I love you bubby!!

Everyone else:

You know who you are and how much you mean to me and I didnt mean to get all sappy but I have so much love in my heart and I never want to go a day without letting you know what you mean to me and what you have given me. Each time we meet, I get something new. I always carry it with me:)

I will post more on our adventures soon!! Mary and I are going to the blind school and back to Prem Dan this week, continue to pray for our strength and for God to continue to use us. Thanks!! Love you bunches!!!!!

Village Clinics

Mary's little friend;)

group from Northwest University in Seattle on our way to the village clinics

deworming the kiddos

There have been so many emotional moments and discouraging scenes throughout the beginning of this trip; however, the past 2 days have been so uplifting, hopeful, and happy. We have gone out to the outer villages to see patients in the Mercy Clinics. We drove about 2.5 hours to Chadkah yesterday to go to 2 clinics. The first clinic was such an awesome experience. We drove up to see about 60 patients' smiling faces, mostly women and children. It is a small clinic that has 2 rooms and a front desk, where the medications are given out. The nursing team from Northwest University in Seattle, as well as the team from Perth, Australia all divided out the tasks for thie clinic. Some of us registered patients, took vitals, handed out meds, and others just played with the kids while they were waiting and took pictures. Mary and I rotated around and took pictures and handed out stickers. They were a huge hit! Who knew a little sticky piece of paper could make a child so happy:) The kids loved MAry and I and we played along with them for the majority of the clinic. The kids have such a beautiful spirit, you can see the depth of their souls when you look into their eyes. There is such a purity there. It still baffles me that these village kids really have nothing compared to American standards, yet they are so happy with the simple things like their family and playing with sticks and the the rusty swing set in the middle of the town. I thought it was so fun to see them in their element. It reminded me of when I was young and my mom would always make us play outside until it got dark on pretty days so we wouldn't turn into lazy couch potatoes. We would explore the woods and play in the creeks, make mud pies, catch critter, you know...typical kid stuff; however, so many kids don't have that anymore. Its mostly just all electronics or video games. That is so sad that times have definitely changed and kids today have really lost that child like spirit to just explore and really be a kid and be social. Oh well, talking about that makes me feel like an old mom, haha. On to the next subject!

We went to the "Mission of Mercy" School today and it was so fun! I felt right where I was suppised to be. We set up a clinic for the school kids. These kids are mostly all very poor but do have families, some are orphans. Its a nicer school and it ranges from grades pre-K to grade 7. We lined up the kids and started a triage of stations with meds, vitals, and wound clean up. MAry and I dewormed every child. It was so cute because they were all lined up with their huge horse pill and we had to put it down their throats for most of them and then give them a gulp of water. The little kids could barely get it down and they were trying to be so brave but most of them gagged and then just swallowed it down and smiled really big like they had just won first prize in some contest. It sort of became a game for us. To see who could get the most kids to swallow their pill the fastest. We saw a range of things today, mostly aches, stomache, some had skin fungus mostly from parasites, and we also saw a boy with a HUGE absess on his finger from climbing a tree. It was so gross to pop and he just cried:( We tried to cheer him up with stickers :) Mary and I really enjoyed playing with the kids and tring to keep them smiling while they got poked and prodded. There is so much good that you fail to see when you are so wrapped up in the bad. Today I was reminded that somtimes you have to look past the ugliness to see the treasures that lie deep down. We saw those treasures; the children of India. They are the future of India and they are so bright, happy, and loving and you can tell that they really want to learn. I loved to see how they all seem to look out for eachother even if they arent related. Education is something that is taken forgranted in the US. That is your biggest asset here. Over 60% of the Indian population is illiterate and as you all can imagine means you cant really get a job. Its so hard to find a good school with a quality education here, but the schools that do provide that are mostly christian schools. I still feel like this is the most diverse country Ive seen but I do see some promise and alot of hope in these people. Things dont change overnight and I have to remember that change does start small and then can spread, so being here doing small things really can impact on a larger scale with time and even if it doesnt, we do it anyway because it may just plant a seed in someone.

The past day, Ive really started to feel like im getting sick. Just sore throat, congestion, headaches, just flu like symptoms:( The air quality is just so terrible here so my allergies and sinuses are going nuts! Mary and I are finally going to sleep in tomorrow and then go to do a little bit of site seeing and shopping in the markets for our saturday morning. We just want to get well rested for the week ahead. We will be going to the blind school and back to "Prem Dan" next week and then tuesday night, we are taking an overnight train to Puri, Orissa for a few days for our break. We have made some great friends here and are so excited to hopefully get to visit them in their own country someday! More world trips!! :) Thanks again to everyone for your love and support and prayers. Today, Cheryl and EP buried 3 family members, the 2 daughters/sister and husband/father. Dr. Cooper, Catie, and Libby were outgoing, passionate people who loved life and Im so blessed I was apart of those precious lives, though short, they have forever touched my life. I know they are safe in heaven and it brings me comfort knowing that Libby and Catie are with their dad, both dads now:) Please continue to pray for comfort and peace for Cheryl and EP. They will need so much to lift them up for the years to come to deal with those painful voids in their lives. When we love someone, we should never go a day without telling them because life really is so precious. I love you all from the bottom of my heart and im so blessed to have all of you in my life.

To S.O.S: Im so glad you came into my life. Thanks for all silly smiles...I miss you! Remember to "shake out the negative and reach for the positive"...haha:)

We are so happy to be here and even though there are really sad, tough days, we can see the overall purpose and know that God is using Mary and I as silent vessels to touch these people in any way we can. Thanks for reading!! Love you!!

There are TONSS more pictures on facebook if you want to see more:)