Home for the Destitute and Dying...I am humbled

Mary and I just got back from the most humbling experience. This morning, we helped at the Mother Teresa home for the Destitute and Dying, "Prema Dan". It is a house with mostly elderly, disabled, mentally ill, or just those who cant help themselves. Most of them are on their death beds or close to it. We are there to just pour our love on them and make them feel special, comfortable, and loved. We had to walk through the slums to get there but we walked into the gate and its' so clean and beautiful with little gardens of Dahlias and marigolds. There were even little cages with birds. I thought it was so neat how much effort they put into making this place peaceful for the patients to have some sort of happy memories towards the end of their life. The place is separated by gender. The men on one side and the women on the other. We immediately were sent to the back where there were groups of girls washing and cleaning linens, clothes, and other things. It was amazing to see that there was such a cultural mix of people all there to volunteer. We immediately made friends with 2 girls from Poland and Australia; Ola and Christine. There were also several from Japan, Argentina, Italy, Switzerland and a few from the states. There was even a guy from Dallas that had lived here in India for awhile because he's a writer. What a small world?! We fit right in with all the volunteers as we washed the clothes and linens. We had an assembly line going of washing, rinsing, and ringing. It was so interesting to hear all of the different stories of how these people ended up in India and how their countries were so unique and different. I learned so much just on culture and sociology form these other volunteers, which blew so many of my stereotypes out of the water, as sad as that sounds. We are so much alike and its so incredible to see that you can share such a passion with so many others around the world. Its absolutely inspiring to think that I can make friends with these other girls and then be invited to come see them in their country someday, which most of them gave invitations to do so. (Ill definitely have to make that a future trip around the world..haha). I think I have friends now from every country! haha.

As we finished up with the cleaning, we were then motioned to go visit, sit, and massage the patients. As I walked into the room with the women, I was just sort of shocked. I felt like I was in a nursing home, mental ward, and a disabled home all at once. It was just very overwhelming. All of the women had shaved heads and were very bony. Lice is a huge issue here so it just became a matter of being more sanitary. As bad as it sounds, I almost felt like I was at a concentration camp except this was a positive place to make these people comfortable in their last days. All the women were seated in either wheel chairs or in seats and everyone just sort of picked someone and started massaging their hands and feet with lotion or just painting their nails, or somewhat comforting them. Even though there is a huge language barrier, you can somehow read their emotions through body language and their eyes. I immediately got a little emotional because there was a woman that was elderly and in a wheelchair that seemed mentally sane just unable to care for herself and she had the most beautiful smile. I went up to her and sat down and started massaging her hands and arms with lotion and rubbing her feet. She just smiled the whole time. As I got further into it, she grabbed my hand and squeezed it, said something in Bengali and just looked me in the eyes and then she kissed my hands. I started to tear up. She pointed to my eyes and calmly nodded her head. I guess that was her way of saying thank you and that it meant something. We definitely had a brief moment where the language didn't matter, just pure human kindness and she almost stared into my soul. I was filled with so much joy and sadness at the same time. I wondered if she had a good life, what her circumstances were, if she had family, all things of that nature. I just felt for her and she had such soft eyes. You could tell that the wrinkles on her face told a beautiful, courageous story, one I wished I could have heard.

Another moment that touched me was a younger woman who had been burned almost unrecognizably. She had no eyes or nose and her scars had stretched over her face to where she almost didn't have a neck. Her arms and hands were also badly scarred and as I looked behind her, part of the back of her head was missing and scarred over. I hate to give such details but I just want you to understand her circumstance. You could tell that she was once a beautiful woman because her skin was smooth and her teeth were so vibrant. No one had been helping her at this point so I leaned down and started to just rub her hand and stroke her hair, she started to make a clicking sound with her mouth but I didnt understand or know what she was doing. I leaned closer to her and she grabbed my neck and at first i didnt know if she was mad at me or upset but i just let her and then I realized she was just touching my face to find my arms so she could hug me. Little moments like these just ignite your spirit. Who knew that something so small could touch someone in such a special way. I was so happy that I could help. I felt like a chicken with my head cut off for the first hour or so because it was just overwhelming and their is absolutely no modesty at all. Another elderly woman that was said to be mentally ill, kept yelling at me and when i passed by her she grabbed my arm almost violently and kept putting it on her chair and pointing to her bottom an shouting something in Bengali over and over. The sister eventually came up to me and told me she needs to go to the bathroom. At first, I didnt know what to do but then I figured out we had to pick them up in the chair they are already in and place them on a different chair that has a whole in the middle to go to the bathroom. I asked Mary to help me and we picked up the woman in the chair she was sitting in and carried her over to the toilet area. The toilet area was just a concrete room with a plastic chair and whole in the middle where you place a metal bowl underneath. I will say that this particular experience almost made me throw up in more ways than one. It took all I had to not throw up. Its not that it grossed me out but just the smell. I have a terrible gag reflex to bad smells. Mary and I picked up the woman and placed her into the chair and took off her bottoms. She went to the bathroom and then we had to take the water hose and rinse her off. I dont mean to be vulgar but she went #2 and I didnt want to act like I couldnt handle it but I had just never done this type of care before with geriatrics or seeing someone be completely helpless with cleaning themselves. At that point, Mary and I didnt even care anymore about sanitation and germs. The woman had already gotten everything on both Mary and I and we just let it go. We got her all cleaned up and back to the porch with everyone else. There were many others who had just used the bathroom on themselves and were sitting in it. It killed me because I wanted to help them clean it up but I could only take so much. One of the parts that killed me the most was there were a few woman who were mentally ill and didnt have bottoms on and were just scooting their bottoms across the floor to the bathroom and back and no one was helping them. It was just an overload of emotions and circumstances. I know this will all be natural things in the medical field but I had never done any sort of geriatric work before. My great grandmother Rado, always used to take me to the nursing homes in my hometown to sing to the elderly when I was little. That sort of became our little thing, visiting nursing homes and just loving on people. I always loved to visit the patients and talk to them. It was sort of deja-vu for me, just more intense. I almost felt my grandma Rado there with me. I think she would be proud of what Mary and I did today. She always did things like this for others. She was the strongest, most selfless woman Ive ever know and had so much love to pour on people. I think she is why I am the way I am today.

Im so grateful for these types of experiences. Are they desirable? Not in the least, but I oddly was so drawn to this type of work. I feel that alot of people don't want to do these types of things and alot of these people get overlooked or forgotten and those are the types of situations are the ones that draw me closer. Mary and I both felt this way and want to go back everyday until we leave so we can really help these people feel some love in their last days. It was a very humbling experience and you begin to realize that your kindness can really effect others even in those small moments.

We weren't allowed to take picture here which is why i was a little graphic in my details but you really don't need to see pictures to understand exactly what type of situation we were dealing with. All of these woman have beautiful hearts and even though some of them may not have all been there mentally, they knew what we were doing and I really felt their love back. Mary and I both felt like we wanted to take a shower in bleach when we left but we knew what we had done really humbled us and will stay with us for the rest of our lives. I am so appreciative for the love of my family and for friends and for my health. I realize that everyday how blessed I am with what I've been given. I really hope that I can continue to come across positive people in my life like the other volunteers mary and I have come across on this journey. It really is one of the most amazing experiences I've had and it inspires me to explore more and to really find out things for myself because we definitely tend to stereotype people who are unlike us and for me, that was something that created a deeper curiosity within. I miss you all very much and we are having such an incredible experience and appreciate all of the love, support, and prayers...its a new journey everyday! We never know what we are going to be dealing with next!